We Had Our Very Own ‘Francis and Edith’
When I was first getting to know my husband nearly 20 years ago, he asked me to get to know a very special older woman in his life. This woman–who we affectionately call “The Lady of the Oaks” is otherwise known as Deborah, and the gift of her friendship over the years has been yet another evidence of God’s very tangible care over my life. Deborah’s husband, Roberto, gave the gospel to my husband many years prior, and for the years following, he had the opportunity to both live with them and learn from them. They became like spiritual parents to him. And then later, to me.
Many days were spent in Deborah’s sunny yellow kitchen, with the black and white checkered curtains. There, she taught me how to host the Church (without losing your mind), how to open your heart and home for warm hospitality, how to love your husband well, and how to be an otherwise gracious and Godly woman. In my early days as a Christ-follower and new wife, Deborah showed me what it looked like to follow Christ with your whole heart. She taught me with her life what a Christian woman really looks like.
Sunday after church were some of my favorite times spent together with them. We might go for walks around the steep and unforgiving hills, or play music together, or have ‘listening parties,’ or watch a good film. All 4 of us might try to cook up something spectacular (or not) in the kitchen for a shared post-church meal. Any time spent with Roberto and Deborah was as much a treat as it was transformative to my life as a Christian.
Have you ever heard of the L'Abri Fellowship? It was the brainchild of Francis and Edith Schaeffer, starting in 1955 in Switzerland as a place for those contemplating the Christian faith. “L’Abri” means “shelter” in French, and that it was (and still is) for many folks seeking refuge away from this secular, postmodern world. Now, L’Abri has grown and various hubs can be found worldwide, but with the same Christ-centered mission at the center. *
I was introduced to Francis Schaeffer through his great work, How Should We Then Live: The Rise and Decline of Western Thought and Culture. My love of Edith came later, as Deborah introduced me to her through her homemaking book called The Hidden Art of Homemaking. Francis and Edith–together, they were a true power couple.
It was not lost on me that during these sweet days of living in California, that God had given us our very own ‘Francis and Edith Schaeffer,’ who often provided a shelter for our many (many) questions and helped us to work out our early days of both faith and marriage.
Dear reader, does the idea of an older, wiser mentor feel cliché to you? Don’t let it. We need these people in our lives desperately as we live out our days here as believers. Titus 2 talks all about it in relation to the older women in the Church teaching the younger women how to love their husbands and children, how to be self-controlled, how to be busy at home, kind, and subject to their own husbands. Why? Because obviously we need the training, and the attributes of Godly womanhood don't come easily. And most importantly–we need it so that God’s word won’t be maligned down the road through a selfish and indulgent life. These are just a few reasons why having an older, wiser woman in your life is valuable and important.
So, if you don’t have one yet–look for one. Notice how she lives. Notice how she treats her husband and her children. Is she self-controlled? Revenant? Rich in good works? Is she passionate about the Lord and His glory and in finding supreme joy in Him? If so, you’ve struck gold, friend. Sit with her, learn from her, listen to her in so much as she follows and obeys the good Shepherd. And if she’s nowhere in sight yet, pray now and ask the God of Heaven to bring you your very own ‘Edith’ so that you can learn from her how should you then live. One thing’s for sure–He’s faithful to provide.
* https://labri.org//swiss/
